Facing someone

Guess the hardest thing is to give feedback to someone telling him what do u feel... and at the same time you don't want to hurt him, you wanna make it constructive feedback... and what if this person can easily get into defensive mood.

I don't know i guess it's important to do that at least for him to know what ppl think about him and when they are upset why are they feel that way.. people don't see what others see on them.

and at the same time if you really want to make the Feedback an effective one you should say it in a good polite way.. don't forget the main target it's not that we wanna destroy him just we wanna fix him within his character not within ours.

Movie Stars

I used to think that it's cool to go movies as long as i'm not doing something wrong i'm sure of that movie it's ok.... and that's it maybe it wasn't bad concept but something happened make me took a deeper look and think about i wasn't right about it...

When one of the movie stars wore Hijab i felt how great she became Kodwa...and then she toke it off i thought wait a second!! she made a movie after taking off hijab and i knew that my friends are going it's like she did something wrong and i'm encouraging her by going to her movie as if it doesn't matter you are veiled or not we pay to watch you anyway...

Then i begin to think it's not about her only what about the rest that every time i go to a movie i'm encouraging those guys to go on... maybe i'm just one of million audience but my 10-20 L.E will sure make a difference..

Movie Stars are maybe great people from inside and outside but they are doing wrong things at least to me i find it's wrong and how come that i feel that what they do is against Allah and islam's rule and movie stars who put on and off their veil... and at the end we will be asked for not doing "2ad3af el 2eman" which is not watching them.

I really hope all Movie stars become closer to Allah they will taste a new feelings they never had on their career..Rabena yehdehom we yeg3al menhom kodwa lel shabab :) ..Insha'Allah

The 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 Principle

Author : Stephen Covey




Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down.

The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You haveno control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need,to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, nd do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose
nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged

You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.

Rush Decisions

When you are in a bad situation and you are frustrated and furious.. you know this first thing come to your mind "Decisions" i.e: I will do....., I will make them suffer....etc.

That's what i call rush decisions it come out of sadness and feeling you wanna punish what other did to you and do the same to them... but after awhile you will discover you are just punishing yourself.

Maybe years ago i used to believe that rush decisions are the best ones but i think i was wrong.. i learned that when i'm thinking about rush decisions it's like an alarm for not taking any action till the wise one come.. coz rush one will have its bad effects which are losing people close to you, losing your self esteem, ....etc.

And as our prophet (PBUH) told his partners 3 times "لا تغضب" , that we should be calm not to get furious that easy to make the wrong decisions and go for it losing a lot of things then regret.. we all do that a lot but it's really time "2ala na3'dab" :) .

Wise Person

We always searching for wise person to be by our side.. to give us advices and be there when we are in bad mood but nobody's there.. and even ur family when u depend on them to be there, it ends up you sitting Alone, crying Alone.. waiting for someone to put his arm over your shoulder telling you what's up...

what about if you had the most wise one in the whole world is with you hearing you.. what about Allah?!! did you hear Soret Yaseen "El Quraan El 7akim" do u doubt that quraan is too wise coz it came from Allah...then we should hold it in our hands everywhere and then when you feel bad open and see what it'll say..

I heard very great words "if you wanna talk to Allah then pray, if you want Allah to talk to you then Read Quraan :) "..

Good Intention vs. Bad Intention

I can't believe that all i meant by my action toward my friend was good intention and then i found out that she got all that i did it out of my cruel intention that i wanna hurt her...and Subhan Allah it's fate that i opened her blog and saw her poem about what i did :( it's like you meant by ur action the right direction and she got the left one...

I don't feel bad coz she can't figure out that i'm not that evil but i really hate to hurt anybody specially that i didn't mean so.. i hate to be the reason of a tear falling from someone's eyes..
but maybe i need to think before taking actions not about my intentions are good or bad but how the other will take it according to their circumstances..

When people hurt us or saying something bad nobody mean it but sometimes people think they are fixing according to them while they are destroying according to others..

Allah's willing

Sometimes you wish things go your way..but not all the time things go like that.

Days do surprise us with things we didn't expect ..I just thought at the end we can't expect so much and wish things go exactly the way we thought it'll be.. that will cause us too much pain..

If we put our trust on Allah that will help us in accepting and be more flexiable..

Remeber these words "I wanted this thing to go that way and Allah wanted it to go that way but at the end i loved what Allah loved for me because it's the best :) " said by someone wished things to go his way..